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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

"The brain a wonderful organ.  It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."

Cha"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"

Friedrich Nietzsche

"All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

Miguel de Cervantes

"Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be."

Norm Papernick

"Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad."

Ethel Barrymore

"You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself."

Reba McEntire

"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funnybone."

Isaac Asimov

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do."

Abraham Lincoln

"No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar."

Oscar Wilde

"The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius."

"The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything, except what is worth knowing."

Victor Borge

"Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year."

Edward Gibbon

"Beauty is an outward gift which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused."

Quentin Crisp

"The trouble with children is that they're not returnable."

George Bernard Shaw

"Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else."

Joe Namath

"Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up.'"

Mark Twain

"While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats."

Ogden Nash

"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."

The Cable Guy

"You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music."

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